


the children life fell out of love with

by lumiinarii



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Domestic, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3, There's smut but its very brief, and ends badly, people die but they dont
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:43:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumiinarii/pseuds/lumiinarii
Summary: The world has ended, and the fighting doesn't stop once they crawl out of the rubble. Nothing changes overnight--it can't, not when there's so much to sift through. But the children it worked so hard to sacrifice have to try their best to change anyways. There isn't time to settle down and think about it. The old world's authority has died, and the debris is determined to destroy any shining remnants of itself that it can find.When the rare moments of peace and clarity come, Kaito and Kokichi try to work through what's happened--what's happening--and what's left for them amidst the ashes.





	the children life fell out of love with

**Author's Note:**

> im supposed to be doing my spanish homework but its oumota weekend and im sad and this is probably ooc but im gay so i dont care shrug emoji

_“No rest for the wicked”. Those who have given their lives to evil are doomed to toil, the sins on their back a cruel reminder that karma gets her due in the end._

_Some of us never got their dues. The children who had given their lives for the panem et circenses of the world at large, gladly resting their heads on the chopping block with wide, desperate, bleary eyes, fighting for a shot at glory that came at the price of their lives._

_The men and women who wrote their deaths into existence with the click of a button, rip of a seam, stroke of a pen--They never got their dues. Those who made millions off of the industry that televised the gruesome murders of kids , and never received their due judgement, laying comfortably on their  kingly beds of blood-soaked cash and fame._

_Complaining that the world had fallen out of love with them, casting them aside out of a heartless sense of justice that left them miserable, lonely, and depressed._

_Kids. Barely on the cusp of maturity, throwing their lives away, because that’s what the world demanded of them._

_Kids._

“We were just kids.”

Kokichi stirred from his trance, looking up. “...Yeah?”

“We didn’t… We didn’t deserve it.”

Kokichi didn’t move for a moment, taking a few moments to absorb his words. Then he sat up straight, tucking his legs underneath him so that he could turn to face the man beside him on the couch. “No, we didn’t.”

“I didn’t… _You_ didn’t…”

“I know what you mean.”

Kaito took a long breath, biting his tongue to bring himself into the present. “I know- God, I know. I need to talk about it though.”

Kokichi’s head tilted to the side, and he nodded slowly, reaching across to rest his hand on Kaito’s shoulder.

“I… You didn’t… deserve it.” He took a deep breath, nails digging into his palms. “I didn’t like you. I hated you.”

“I can understand that.”

“I was able to at the time, because… I was a kid, too. I didn’t _look_ like it, but I was a kid, and… And I didn’t know what I was doing, and all I could think about was how we’d be better off if you weren’t here, and-”

“Look-”

“And now we’re _here_ , and everything’s different, and I keep…” He clenched his teeth, hissing through them and keeping his eyes shut to keep the tears from escaping. “I keep… looking at you, and- and thinking, you didn’t deserve it. You were just a kid, and you were trying to survive just like the rest of us, and-”

“I know.” Kokichi’s thumb came up to wipe tears away that Kaito hadn’t realized had fallen. “I know. So…” He exhaled through his nose, looking down at the space between them. “So were you, though.”

“I... was.”

“...It wasn’t fair.”

“I was an idiot.”

“...We all were,” Kokichi said softly, worrying his lip between his teeth. “We were in high school. We didn’t know-”

“No, I-” Kaito sat up straight, shaking his head, his hand covering Kokichi’s. “I mean… I was stupid to think that we had the space to say... What I mean is, you weren’t evil, you were just a _kid_ , and-”

“And you weren’t the hero,” he finished. “But that’s how kids think. And… Adults do too. Sometimes.”

“...They did.”

“They still do. It's not your fault."

Kaito let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding back. “...How’s your shoulder?”

“Better.”

“...I’ll go with you to the shop next time.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey- _Hey_ \- Hey! Hold up.”

“I’m-”

“Hold up.” Kaito knelt down beside him, hands ghosting along his wrists, rubbing shaky circles into torn skin. He did his best to give a comforting smile, even though the sight of Kokichi's blood sent his head spinning. “Hey.”

“...I didn’t _mean-_ ”

“I know.”

“I just didn’t-”

“‘Kichi.”

A razor blade clattered to the bathroom floor, and his hands were trembling. “I just… I didn’t want-” His hands came up to cover his face, bloodied fingertips leaving streaks across his skin. “ _I didn’t want to die_ , I just-”

His face was buried in a warm chest. “Hey. I… I know.”

“I didn’t want-”

“It’s okay.”

“ _No_ , it’s not.” His hands clenched around Kaito’s shirt, leaving bloody imprints-- _disgusting your fault all your fault_ \--”I let him take the blame, I manipulated him, I-”

“You were a kid.”

Kokichi bit his tongue so hard his mouth filled with the taste of iron.

“ _Hey._ You were a kid. You didn’t know. You didn’t know you had a choice. You were a _kid_.”

“I didn’t-”

“You were a kid.”

“...I was a kid.”

“You didn’t deserve it any more than he did.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Can you say it for me?”

“...I…”

“Kichi-”

“Can you… Stop talking for a few seconds?”

* * *

 

 

“ _Had we but world enough, and time_ -”

Kokichi groaned, picking up a pillow and holding it tight as he shot a glare across the bed. “ _Please_ don’t tell me you didn’t buy the book to serenade me, moron.”

“Maybe I did.”

“ _Kaito-_ ”

“All right, maybe I’ll find another one.” He felt a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and flipped to another page.

“I don’t _like_ poetry.”

Kaito reached over, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to pull the boy closer--pillow and all. “Would you like it if I wrote sonnets for you?”

Kokichi looked up, eyes alight with a teasing scowl. “I’d hate it. I’d hate you even more, you fucking dumbass.”

Kaito’s grin widened. “Hey, this one sounds metal-”

“Poetry isn’t metal.”

“Fuck you, the _best_ poetry is metal. Actually,” he mused, rubbing Kokichi’s shoulder, “my grandad had my grandma embroider this after he lost his leg. He _loved_ poetry, he’d write a sonnet for my grandma to find every day.”

Kokichi’s lighthearted smirk slowly fell away. “...Did he now?”

Kaito sank back in the bed, his grin and the moment slipping away like so many memories from an imagined life. “I... guess not. I think… Whatever.” He closed the poetry collection and set it on the bedside table. “I forgot. It was a cool story, though.”

“...Then why don’t you read the damn thing and tell me about it?”

Kaito looked down at worn, bony fingertips tracing shapes across his bare chest. “I thought you didn’t like poetry.”

“So maybe I don’t. Change my mind, dumbass.”

He chuckled under his breath. “So needy.” He picked the book up again, ignoring the indignant noise coming from beneath his arm, and cleared his throat.

“ _Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance-”_

 

* * *

 

 

Kaito let out a soft whine as his legs were pushed farther up, his arms wrapped around Kokichi’s shoulders, and let his head loll back. “ _Fuck._ ”

“This angle okay?”

“ _Fu-ck_ ,” he repeated in a long, drawn out moan, letting his hips roll back and his nails instinctively digging into his partner’s back, dragging down as he felt the cock inside of him moving. “Don’t…. Don’t stop doing that.”

“I don’t plan on it,” Kokichi replied with a smirk, leaning down to press his lips to Kaito’s neck before pushing himself back in.

Automatically, with a sharp cry, Kaito’s hand came up to cradle the back of Kokichi’s head, his eyes shut as he let out soft breathy gasps, legs trembling, eyes wandering down Kokichi’s back-

**_Shit._ **

“Stop, stop, _stop, shit,_ **_stop-_ ** _”_

Kokichi froze, his blood running cold, immediately pulling out and clambering over Kaito’s leg so that he could kneel beside him on the bed. “Kaito? Hey- Hey, Kaito-” He held his hand against Kaito’s jawline, his breath starting to hitch with panic. “Kaito, talk to me.”

“You’re- Shit, I’m _sorry_ , I didn’t mean-” Kaito reached over to pull the smaller boy into his embrace, clinging to him, burying his face in dark hair as his shoulders trembled.

“Kaito, it’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong, what-”

“You’re _bleeding,_ Kichi. I hurt you, _shit_ , _I’m so sorry_ , I-”

Kokichi frowned, pulling away a bit. “I am?”

“Your back, I- I scratched it, you’re _bleeding,_ I-”

_Ah._

Kokichi sighed, letting the other man pull him as close as he could, mumbling apologies in his ear, hands fluttering against his scratched-up back. “Kaito, I’m fine--promise.”

“Shit, I _know_ , I just saw the scratches and-”

“It’s all right.” Kokichi wriggled around a bit until Kaito released him, and laid beside him. “It’s all right. You didn’t hurt me--I’m okay, see?” He smiled as wide as he could to prove his point.

“I…”

“We’re just going to lay here, okay?” His hand came up to rest against Kaito’s cheek. “If you want to try again later, we can, but-”

“I think-” Kaito stopped, flushing a bit. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. What is it?”

“I think… I think I’m done for the night.”

“Okay. That’s okay. Let’s just rest, all right?”

“...Can I patch you up?”

“I don’t need it, really.  Promise.”

“I’d like to.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kokichi set the teapot on the table, frowning as he pulled his hands away from the heavy glass. “We can go stay at Kirumi’s for a few days-”

“We’re _fine_ .” Kokichi flinched. “I _checked._ I can tell when someone’s following me,” Kaito snapped--he stopped at the younger man’s expression, shaking his head as his chest filled with guilt. “Shit--I’m sorry, I just-”

“No, it’s fine, I-” He took a deep breath, leaning over to pour hot water into Kaito’s mug. “It’s a lot, I know.”

“I just…” He squeezed the glass mug a little tighter. “I don’t like moving around so much. I don’t like constantly having to hide at other people’s houses just so that we can have a quiet night.”

“I know.”

“I thought I’d have to stop worrying about people trying to kill me after I died,” Kaito joked, then looked down into the glass again. “I’m tired of running.”

Kokichi kept his mouth shut, reaching across to take the teapot from him, exchanging it for the sugar jar. He closed his eyes as he put his hands on the body of the pot.

“Cold?”

“I’m fine.”

“...It’s not your fault.”

Kokichi looked up. “I know--I’m fine, really.”

“If they followed me, it was for me. You’re not the only person I wasn’t especially friendly to.”

“...I know.”

“If I were nice to you, I’d get people trying to hurt me out of jealousy. That happens to Maki sometimes,” he pondered aloud. “...I don’t think we’ve talked to Maki in a while.”

“She has a cat now. She was going to give it to Ryoma, but-”

“He just got Fugu.”

“Yeah, so she just decided to keep it.”

Kaito snorted. “Good. She needs company.”

“...Do you want to invite her over?”

He looked up from his mug, catching the little tremble in his muscles.

Kokichi wasn’t cold.

“Yeah, I’ll ask her if she wants to stay the night.”

 

* * *

 

 

“God damn it, where’s my suitcase?”

“You wanted to use it as a booster seat.”

“So-”

“So, on the table.”

Kokichi ran to the table, opening the case to make sure everything was there. “And you have the empty one?”

“What do you want in it?”

“The teapot, your poetry book, the infuser, that one blanket Ms. Fukawa gave us.”

He heard the sound of a bag unzipping. “Anything else?”

“Try to get as many pans in there as possible, I’ll take care of food.”

Kaito’s head poked out from behind the doorframe. “Are you sure you’ll be able to carry that? It might be a while before we’re able to cook.”

“...Fine, but I’m at least getting the loose-leaf.”

“I can fit it in mine, just go.”

Kokichi took a deep breath, splaying his hand across his chest to put some pressure on his chest. “Not until you’re ready. I’m not leaving you.”

“I’ll feel better if you’re not here, Kichi.”

“And _I’ll_ feel better if I know you’re out of the house, dumbass.”

Kaito paused for a moment, then let out a sigh. “Can you come over here?”

Kokichi set his suitcase on the foldable table and hurried from the kitchen. “Yeah?”

“Just…” He placed the blanket safely in the empty bag, and reached up behind his neck. He pulled a thin, silver chain from beneath his shirt, unfastening it. “Here, turn around.”

“If you want to give me your necklace, you can do that when we meet up again, du-”

“Please? For me?”

Kokichi stared at him for a few moments, watching his thumb rub across the necklace, then sighed and turned around. “Just…  Hurry the fuck up.”

The chain sat heavy across his collarbone, loose on his neck, and Kaito’s hands were swift in fastening it at the back. “Here. That’s a promise, okay? It’s a promise that I’m going to come find you again and take this back.”

“I’d rather-”

“Kichi.” Kokichi turned back around, and Kaito was close--almost too close, and his hand came up to rest against his cheek. “Hey. I’m going to come get you again. And I’m not going to be here for long. But I need you to leave, okay? It’s my job to keep you safe.” His thumb swiped across his cheekbone, resting at the corner of his eye. “So… Can you help me out a little bit, and stay safe?”

“...Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”  Kokichi looked down, anxiety rising in his chest. “ _Okay._ ”

“...Hey. It’s going to be fine.” Kokichi felt lips pressed to his forehead. “You just remember the plan, and keep your head down, and I’ll find us somewhere a little more out of the way.”

“...You stay safe too, okay?”

“‘Course.”

 

* * *

 

 

Fire.

He’d always been afraid of fire, ever since he was four years old and watched his house go up in flames, taking with it toys, furniture, memories, and the only people his little mind had ever really loved.

Fire is what he felt running through his veins when the poison entered his bloodstream, fire what he felt nagging at the back of his head when his enemy’s form was beside him, with the saving grace of the antidote, swallowing any remnant of his future.

Fire was what ran through his blood, the burning desire to end it all, to end the game that had robbed so many of their lives.

Fire was what drained from his body with every moment that he stayed alive, pouring down his back, trickling from his fingertips, creating pools against the edge of the press.

Fire was what engulfed him in his dreams, the screaming pain of every bone being crushed into powder, every muscle ground into nothing but a pulp, the air being forced from his lungs in a blood-freezing shriek of pain that turned into steady sobbing as the fire ebbed and flowed, as doctors kept his brain in a stasis of pain that yanked his mind in and out of insanity, replaying his final moments on the screen of his consciousness, where he waited.

Waited.

Waited for relief.

Waited for death.

Waited as Maki Harukawa, Shuichi Saihara, and Himiko Yumeno fought the courts to keep him and his friends alive.

Fought for his right to exist as the monster they had created, regardless of his crimes, his dangerous tendencies, regardless of his status as a fictional entity that had no rights--no identity.

 _Fought_ until the gloved hands that had been circling the plug to his life support were yanked away, and when they were woken up one by one, his eyes opened to a kind face, tears filling his eyes as he looked into the eyes of his murderer sitting beside him, having both sent him to, and, in that moment, in his eyes, having saved him from death.

His murderer, who had saved him time and time again in the years thereafter.

Fire.

Fire was what was eating their shared apartment alive, ravaging the blood and bones of the place they laid side by side, reciting poetry and drinking tea, having nightmares and dreams, watching the stars and, when the stars had been put out, placing their own in the night sky.

Fire was what was ravaging the corpse of their still life, yet again, dragged kicking and screaming from their home by the hollow men and women that they had ripped the souls from in order to create it. They had deemed it a worthy sacrifice, and the world was better off without the deaths of their most vulnerable, murder broadcast on the airwaves, and evisceration the event to gather around the television to bond to.

They had deemed it a worthy sacrifice to build a home from the ashes of the world they burned to the ground, and the old world fought back with ashes of their own.

Kokichi’s hand clutched his necklace as he sat in their favorite tea shop, eyes fixed on the plume of smoke in the distance.

He didn’t know.

Kokichi didn’t know if Kaito had made it out or not, and that was what scared him. Scared him more than the thought that he was dead, burnt to a crisp like his parents and his former life and the possibility of a dreamless sleep.

He didn’t know.

There was nothing he could do.

He didn’t know.

 

* * *

 

 

“...And yeah, the heating needs work, but… At least it’s quiet?”

Kaito’s voice held a note of hope, but it sounded just as much like he was trying to convince himself as he was trying to convince Kokichi. He reached up to rub the back of his neck, an apologetic grin spreading across his face.

“It doesn’t matter what it looks like, dummy. It’s better than our last place.”

“Really?”

“Considering it’s a pile of ashes right now, yeah.”

Kaito frowned, sitting back on the mattress. “How do you feel about that?”

“...It is what it is. Let’s just… Unpack, okay?”

“You don’t want to talk about it?”

“Not right now. I need to…” His hands were shaking. “I need to do something.”

“Okay.”

So they did. Angie wasn’t an incredible seamstress, but she’d gifted the two a few shirts, so into the storage closet they went, with whatever they’d been able to fit into their suitcases, and into the cabinet their pans went, along with whatever canned food they could carry, and onto the counter their precious teapot went, with a small container of loose green tea and, because there wasn't anywhere else, the poetry book Kaito had bought at the old bookstore on the corner-

“Home sweet home?”

“It wasn’t funny the first time.”

“...I’m sorry.”

Kokichi sighed, walking to the mattress lying on the floor and sitting down on it. “It’s not your fault.”

“I should have listened and gone to Kirumi’s.”

“It doesn’t matter now, dumbass. You didn’t make anyone burn the place down. Let’s just get some sleep, okay?”

He pulled the old quilt over himself, waiting for the dip in the mattress--but it never came. He opened his eyes, and Kaito was still standing there. “We have stuff to do tomorrow.”

“...It’s not fair.”

He sighed, sitting up straight and motioning for his boyfriend to sit beside him, letting out a breath when an arm wrapped around his waist. “No, it’s not.”

“I’m sorry for being a downer, I just... don’t see an end to this.”

“Danganronpa’s still fresh in everyone’s heads. We just need to wait a few more years.”

“...You’re probably right. We can live our lives like normal.”

“Since when have you wanted normal?”

Kaito’s hand squeezed his waist a little tighter. “Since I realized that we’re not getting a happy ending.”

“A happy ending?”

“Yeah, like... “

“I know what a happy ending is. This isn’t a _fairytale_ , dummy. What makes you think-”

“Hear me out,” Kaito pleaded, turning to face the younger boy, hands moving from his waist to Kokichi’s shoulders. “We might not be in a fairytale, but… we’re fictional characters, right? We’re not getting a happy ending. I’m not going to space--you’re not going to get to travel the world.”

“You don’t know that, dumbass, we could-”

“ _Listen._ ” Kaito’s hands squeezed a little bit too hard, and Kokichi winced--immediately, they released. “We’re not going to get that. We’re barely surviving as it is. We can’t. But…” He sighed. “ _Maybe_ , if we really try, we can live together. Maybe I’ll get a job as a mechanic or, hell, an engineer if I’m really lucky. You could probably do anything you set your mind to, and we can just…”

“Live?”

“Yeah. Don’t... Don’t you think that would be enough?”

“...Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Shit, Kaito, I don’t know,” Kokichi growled, reaching up to wipe his eyes. “Is that really all there is?”

“From what I can see? Yeah.”

“Well, I don’t want that.”

“ _Kokichi._ ”

“When the fuck did you decide to throw away all hope?”

“When hope is what got us killed,” Kaito said softly. “We can’t afford to hope for something more than just being able to live right now.”

“We were _Ultimates_ , Kaito, we could-”

“We were _kids,”_ he countered a bit harshly, then he reached up to rub his neck, a feeling like a cold stone dropping in his stomach. “We were just normal high school kids, thrown into a killing game, and forced to choose whether we wanted to live in captivity or die. We chose to die, and now that we've got ourselves out, the only thing we can hope for is  _living_ again-”

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about?”

“I’m fucking-” Kaito’s voice broke, and he stood up suddenly. “Forget it.”

“I’m not-”

 _“ Forget it._ I’m going to take a shower.”

 

* * *

 

 

“...I didn’t mean that I don’t want a life with you.”

Kaito let out a long breath, reluctantly leaving his warm place in the blushing light to roll over, facing Kokichi. His eyes were red, and Kaito’s heart ached. “I know.”

“I just…”

“I know.”

“It isn’t fair.”

Kaito smiled softly, pulling Kokichi into his arms. “I know.”

“It’s not fair that the people who tried to kill us get to do whatever they want, and we...”

“And we have to settle for less?”

“...Yeah.”

Kaito’s fingertips laced through soft, dark hair, gently rubbing at the base of Kokichi’s neck, his face buried in the crook of the older man’s neck.. “I know.”

“...You were right, though,” Kokichi mumbled into Kaito’s neck.

“Doesn’t mean you have to like it.”

Kokichi placed his hands against Kaito’s chest, fingertips tapping to an imaginary beat, and he closed his eyes. “I don’t.”

Kaito pulled him a little closer, lips pressed to the crown of Kokichi’s head, and leaned back against the mattress. The sun continued to rise, and he didn’t care, even as the room’s dusty orange turned to pale noonday sunlight, peeking through their windows to find them still asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

The sky was a dusky purple, still warm with hints of red, but steadily on its way to the inky black of night. The mattress was pushed up against the wall, pillows and blankets stacked up by the window so that they could both look out it.

“...And right over there, Gemini is going to rise over the horizon. I’ll point it out when I see it.”

“Gotcha. And until you do,” Kokichi replied, pushing himself to his feet and stumbling off the mattress, “I’m going to make tea.”

“But- But-”  Kaito sputtered, and got up after him. “You’re going to miss the best part!”

“So will you if you don’t sit your ass back down.”

Kaito watched him move into their kitchen, and rolled his eyes, kneeling back down to stare out the window. “Hurry up, kay?”

“I think the fuck not.”

Purple turned to indigo, to blue, to navy. “You can see the stars now.”

“Give me two fucking seconds, I swear to God.”

He appeared again from behind the refrigerator, two mugs in hand. “Now move.”

Kaito moved just slightly to let the younger man kneel beside him. “Okay, so right over there is Gemini, you can sort of see it around where Betelgeuse is, you just have to look for two really bright stars right next to each other-”

“Beetle juice? That sounds gross. Why do you like drinking beetle juice, huh, Kaito?”

“Oh my God. I’m trying to show you something _important_.”

“I think it’s more important we talk about your beetle juice habits. How much money have you been blowing on this stuff? Especially when you could have been spending it on, oh, I don’t know,” Kokichi got off of the pillows, setting his cup on the windowsill, and spread himself across the bed as seductively as he could manage. “Flowers, chocolates, so on and so forth. What I’m trying to say is you should, like, totally just spend all our money on stuff for me. Who needs rent money?”

“I’m going to pour your tea out the window.”

“I’ll drink your shampoo in revenge.” Regardless, he pushed himself up onto his elbows, looking up at his boyfriend. “I can just look out the window from down here.”

“That’s not a great view.”

“Not from where I’m sitting,” Kokichi replied, staring pointedly at Kaito’s ass and flicking his eyes up to shoot him a wink.

“Fucking…” Kaito rolled his eyes, setting his tea down and laying down beside him. “If you weren’t interested, you should have said. What’s up?”

“I am! I’m just more interested in you.”

“All right, all right.” Kaito laughed, leaning in to brush a kiss against his boyfriend’s nose. “I’m down here. You’re being flighty. What’s up?”

“Nothing, just…” Kokichi smiled softly. “I’m trying to enjoy the moment. Right here. Right now. With you.”

“Feels nice, huh?”

Kokichi didn’t meet his eyes, preferring to press his face to Kaito’s chest. “Yeah.”

“I know it’s not ideal.”

“It’s not, but…”

Kaito closed his eyes, a melancholy settling in his chest. “It’s what we’ve got.”

“Yeah.”

He sat up, jostling Kokichi from his place, and leaving him on the bed. “Hold on, we still have our tea.”

“We’re running low on that, by the way.”

“Do you want to try another brand?”

“Nah.”

Kaito leaned against the wall, waiting for Kokichi to come and join him, patting his leg. He let out a loud huff when he sat in his lap, instinctively wrapping an arm around Kokichi’s waist. “How’s this?”

“Better. I don’t like kneeling.”

“If yesterday was anything to go by... I beg to differ.”

“Fuck you,” Kokichi mumbled against the rim of the glass, fingernails tapping an irregular beat.

“Fuck me yourself, you fucking coward.”

“Mm… Maybe later.”

Kaito chuckled, resting his head on top of his boyfriend’s. He sat in silence, letting himself be lulled into a gentle trance by the sipping of tea, the warmth of his partner against his chest, the beat of their hearts.

“...I’ve been doing some thinking.”

Kaito cracked an eye open. “Hm?”

“...I don’t… know what’s going to happen with our lives.”

“Neither of us do.”

“Can I just… Talk?”

Kaito sombered, nodding, and leaned back. Kokichi leaned back with him, looking up. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I know… The world hates us, right now. I don’t know if that will change. I don’t know how long we’ll have to live on next to nothing. But…”

He looked down again, and Kokichi’s hands gripped his cup, searching for remnants of the warmth inside. “I could get used to this.”

“You think so?”

“...Yeah.”

“I could get used to it, too.”

“A life here, with you… If that’s all we have, as long as you’re here, I think I could live.”

“That’s all I want.” Kaito fell quiet, and Kokichi decided that the conversation was over. He closed his eyes, resting his head against his partner’s shoulder.

“I know it’s not what you want.” His eyes opened again, and he looked up. Kaito was biting his lip, and nodded to himself a little bit. “I know you want more than that. And… That’s okay. I’ll do everything I can to make sure you have that. Just…”

Kaito looked up, the starlight just barely skimming the window to dust the crowns of their heads. Through the screen, he could see the inky sky peeking through at him. “We don’t have luck in our favor. Life fell out of love with us a long time ago, and we might not ever be able to get that back, but just… know that, no matter what happens, I’ll give everything I have to give us the life we deserve.”

Kokichi didn’t say anything.

“Do you think we could try that?”

He didn’t stir, and Kaito wondered if he’d even heard him. He took Kokichi’s hand in his own, and began stroking it. “We should probably get some sleep. I’ll try my hand at eggs tomorrow.”

“...We can try that.”

Kaito perked up. “Hm?”

“I…” Kokichi let out a long breath, setting his cup down on the mattress and reaching up to wipe at his face. “I’d really like that.”

“That right?”

“Yeah.”

Kaito nodded to himself, the quirk of a smile playing across his lips. “Okay. Besides,” he added, as Kokichi moved out of his lap to sit on the mattress, “We’re just kids. We have our whole lives ahead of us.”

“We are, aren’t we?” Kokichi smiled to himself, rolling off the mattress and clambering to his feet. “We’ll figure something out. We always do.”

“And until then…” Kaito stood up with him, grabbing the windowsill for support. He crossed the mattress, until he was standing in front of him, and pulled the mug out of his hand. Kaito’s hand reached up to cup Kokichi’s face. “You.”

He was met with a small smile. “You,” Kokichi agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> why can't i write sex without it ending badly???? theres probably some psychological answer but i still have to do my homework so i dont care, anyways dont do school eat drugs stay in ass *finger guns*


End file.
